For the Non-Animal Lover

 This is not to say that I am an animal hater. I just never had pets growing up. Like an only-child who grew up without siblings and doesn’t know how to act around babies, I don’t know how to act around animals. Now, I am living with a cat (my roommate’s) and we have been co-existing as peacefully as humans and vampires since I moved in two months ago. In that time, I have established a few guidelines to maintain this civil relationship. While “contained” animals (birds, fish, turtles, etc.) are easier to avoid, the following steps can be applied for any non-animal-loving situation:


Establish your relationship:

“Cat,” I say imploringly to the unblinking green eyes staring up at me, “We don’t have to like each other. But we do have to live together.”

I have found in my non-animal-loving life that pets sense when you don’t like them. As a result, they will do everything in their power to make your life miserable (jumping on the kitchen table while you’re eating breakfast, for instance). When it comes to addressing an uncomfortable situation, honesty is the best policy. As long as you are clear about your feelings, you and the animal can move forward with all the civility of both species.

Set some boundaries:

Do not feed the pet: This is simply not your responsibility as the non-pet owner. Open a can of Fancy Feast once and the animal will forever flock to you like a lion to its prey. Do not give the animal any reason to associate you with food. You will thank yourself when said animal is not ramming its head into your bedroom door at 6 am, begging to be fed.

Do not pet/cuddle/scratch/brush the animal: You do not want to give the wrong impression, or create any reason for false hope. You do not want the animal to suddenly get the idea that this relationship could progress to something beyond simple co-existence. In turn, you will not end up frustrated with fur-covered clothes.

Do not bond with the animal: Why would you ever even think of doing this to yourself? What, exactly, do you and this animal have in common? You cannot commiserate over trying days at work (long day at the office v. long day at the scratch post). You cannot plan activities  that would be enjoyable for both of you (cocktail hour v. bird-hunting hour). You cannot even hold a conversation. Really, if you are a non-animal lover, this part should be easy. 

Recognize the benefits of compromise:

Your 20-something years are all about learning: adjusting to adulthood, taking on “real life” responsibilities, living with roommates and maybe animals too. The right tweaks in attitude and outlook will go a long way when it comes to sharing spaces and achieving “adult” relationships (and adult-animal relationships). Always strive for positivity to stay happy, healthy, and busy as hell. And to keep the cat hair out of your hair.